


Light Switch Duty

by Arnie



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-29
Updated: 2014-04-29
Packaged: 2018-01-21 07:48:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1543151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arnie/pseuds/Arnie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Greaves!"</p><p>I recognised the name straightaway, even though it's not mine.  Yep, McKay.  "It's Graves, Doctor McKay."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Light Switch Duty

"Greaves!"

I recognised the name straightaway, even though it's not mine. Yep, McKay. "It's Graves, Doctor McKay."

"Greaves, Graves... Come with me."

"Yes, sir."

Like a good little marine, I followed him into his lab and took the Ancient device he was shoving at me.

"Turn that on."

Puzzled, I did as he asked. McKay hadn't had anyone on light switch duty since he got his own ATA gene.

"Now that one."

It lit up, and McKay looked at me. "Did you notice any differences between them?"

I resisted the urge to say "mine's bigger than yours" because, well, I'm not that stupid. Instead, I said, "No, sir."

"Ha! I knew it!" McKay looked almost pleased with me, then he tapped his radio. "Major - there you are."

"Yep, here I am." Major Sheppard gave me a nod as he saved me from whatever torture McKay was about to drum up. "Okay, Graves, you can go."

"Thank you, sir." I headed out before Sheppard could change his mind, though I was listening to them spar as I went. I swear, if anyone of us talked to McKay the way he does, there'd be nothing left of us.

"Rodney, I've told you before: you make my marines cry, I won't let you play with them any more."

"I didn't make him cry. He did, however, prove me right. There are no differences between these two devices."

I was right?

"They look different. This one's bigger."

Size is everything in the military.

"Yes, but -"

If there was more, I never heard it. It was like being inside a light bulb. I was on the floor, my eyes streaming and my eyesight shot to hell. You ever look at the sun when you were a kid? Yeah, it was like that only a hell of a lot worse.

I got up and staggered back into the lab, slapping at my radio and shouting about a medical emergency in the lab. I could see a bit now, but Sheppard and McKay were down. I wasn't surprised. I'd been outside; they'd got the full blast of that thing.

And there were two of them.

I practically leapt at the worktop, tripping over Sheppard's legs as I went and banging the hell out of my shins, but that other one was there, happily blinking away to itself. I grabbed it, thinking, "Off, _off!_ " at it, and the lights went out.

Sheppard was awake. I could hear him groaning, his hands clutching at his face like he could stop the pain that way.

"Sir? Major?"

"McKay?!"

He was groaning too, and I knelt between them. "He's here, sir. He's alive." I knew they couldn't see me, and I had a hand on each of them. That turned out to be a mistake with McKay. His eyes still squinted shut, he climbed me like a monkey. His face was an inch from mine, and I could tell he was glaring at me from behind his eyelids.

"The other one -"

"It's off, sir!"

He relaxed then, sinking back to the floor.

As a medical team came charging in, I relaxed too. My eyesight was clearing, so I figured that thing was an Ancient version of our flash-bangs but without the noise. It didn't need it, I swear.

And the next time McKay wants me on light switch duty? I'm gonna go hide in my bunk.

The end  
5th November 2008.


End file.
